Saturday, January 21, 2012

9/9/11

Pain anger rage hate hurt insecurities unloved bitterness cold resentful harmful suicide addiction rejection resentment aloneness despised unforgiveness bottled up emotions stress scared lies

Everyday i wake up with a fake smile just to please everybody
Everynight i go to bed and cry because i know no one will understand
Day by day i live as if nothing is wrong
Night by night i know nothing is right
I'm living a lie i dont belong here
I cant go on living like this
I just want this pain to go away
Why wont the pain STOP
My arms show how much nothing is right in my life
But i know no one sees them becasue i know how to hide it well

I paint a picture with my razor
The paint is my blood
The canvas is my wrist

I cut and i like it when it hurts
I like the pain then i dont like the pain
Sometimes i wish that i could just end it all
But i know that i cant
So i just plant that fake smile on my face and i at like nothing is wrong
Eventhough i know nothing is right
It seems to me that nobody cares about me
Or how i feel
Or whats going on inside my head
Each cut is deeper than the last one
Some are right on top of each other
The pain of my blood soothes the pain
The pain of my heart and of my mind

I dont know what else i can do to relieve this pain
I'm running out of options
I need help but i dont know who i should go to
When i first meet people they think im this perfect person
But in reality I'm not
For the past three years I've been able to fool most people
Into believing that im a perfect person and that nothing is wrong
Why cant people see through all of it
I'm scared of what im going to do next
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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